Suicide

Do you ever feel that you just do not belong? Your parents never listen to you? Your friends always hassle you or just do not take you seriously? Do you feel that you just want to end it all? Do you hide these feelings from your family and friends? Problems in school, at home, or in a relationship can make you feel helpless or hopeless. Do not bear these feelings alone; find someone to talk with! Others can help you deal with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

If a friend talks to you about suicide, take it seriously. He/she needs to talk to someone if he/she cannot cope with life. A friend may tell you about suicidal feelings and ask you to keep it a secret. BEING A GOOD FRIEND MEANS THAT YOU SHOULD NOT KEEP IT A SECRET! You must tell someone you can trust: family, religious leader, counselor, and/or friend. Suicide threats are cries for help from people who do not realize that they have other choices.

Talking openly with someone about suicide will not push him/her over the edge. Talking allows the painful feelings to be expressed. A good listener can help prevent friends from committing suicide. Comfort them, hug them, and listen to them. But they still need professional help to overcome the feelings and problems they may be facing.

Fact: Anyone has the potential to commit suicide.
Fact: Teenage pregnancy is considered one of the prime reasons for teenage suicide.
Fact: Most people who kill themselves are really confused about whether or not they want to die.
Fact: Attempted suicide is a cry for help that often ends in tragedy.

Here are a few ways to help someone who is feeling suicidal:

• Be willing to listen. Take him/her seriously.
• Talk openly with him/her. Ask him/her what his/her plan is, how and where he/she is thinking about committing suicide.
• Do not make the person feel guilty about his/her feelings.
• Encourage your friend to call a suicide prevention crisis line or seek professional counseling.
• If he/she seems really out of control, take the initiative and get help immediately.

If someone has made an attempt, or you are afraid that he/she might attempt soon, do not leave that person alone. Call for help. Here are some numbers.

 

• Local Police - 911 or (605) 347-2573
• Local Sheriff - 911 or (605) 347-2681
• Lutheran Social Services - (605) 644-0826
• Catholic Social Services - (800) 727-2401
• Crisis Intervention Services - (605) 347-0050

WARNING SIGNS OF A POTENTIAL SUICIDE
We cannot begin to pinpoint one cause over another, but current research and drug/alcohol prevention specialists indicate some general categories that seem to be consistently evident when teenage suicide occurs:

• Tremendous pressure not to fail from peers and family.
• Breakdown of the family structure or rejection by same.
• Confused or negative about the future or career goals.
• Early onset of mental illness.

According to the American Association of Suicidology, there are distinct signs that should automatically alert us to a potential suicide. They are:

• A suicide threat or other statement indicating a desire or intention to die
• A previous suicide attempt
• Mental depression
• Marked changes in personality/behavior

Here are other warning signs to watch for:

• Buying pills or a gun
• Loss of sleep or excessive sleeping
• Loss of appetite or excessive eating
• Low self-esteem
• Compulsive or reckless behavior
• Neglect of appearance, dressing sloppily, hair not combed or washed
• Poor grades or compulsive high grades
• Giving away favorite personal possessions
• Ending a relationship
• Saying goodbye

IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING SUICIDE . . . Keep these thoughts in mind:

• Others do care – there are always people who are willing to help you work out your problems. Do not be afraid to ask for help.
• You are not alone – nearly everyone thinks about committing suicide at one time or another. Thinking about suicide does not mean that you are abnormal or crazy.
• The crisis will pass – it is true. At times problems seem overwhelming, even unbearable. Many young people who consider suicide do so because of the emotional pain they feel at the time. But no problem lasts forever. Do not solve a temporary problem with a permanent solution.
• Do not be embarrassed – there is no need to feel ashamed about what you have been thinking, but you do need to talk with someone if you have any serious suicidal thoughts.
• Talk with others – friends, teachers, and counselors are just a few of the people who you can turn to for help.

Let the person know how you feel – what is troubling you, what you have done about it, and what you plan to do.

You may feel you are imposing on people if you ask for help, but everyone needs help from time to time. Most people feel flattered that someone trusts them enough to ask for help.

• Suicide Hotline
  • (800) SUICIDE
  • (605) 334-1414
  • (605) 343-7262
• Local Police - 911 or (605) 347-2573
• Local Sheriff - 911 or (605) 347-2681

HOW TO HELP SOMEONE WHO IS THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE
A person who is considering suicide desperately needs to know that others care. Show that you care by following these suggestions:

DO’s

Be direct – Talking openly is the only way you can find out how serious the person is about ending his/her life.

Ask questions – “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” “Do you have a plan?” “Will you talk with someone who can help?” Sometimes you need to be firm and say, “You need to come with me and I will take you to someone you can talk to.”

Be a good listener – Listen with your eyes as well as your ears – look for nonverbal clues that show how the person is feeling. Avoid making moral judgments, acting shocked, or disgusted. Do not argue or lecture.

Show that you care – Tell the person that you are always willing to talk about things that may be troubling him/her. Reassure the person that you care and that others feel the same way.

Get help – Seeking professional help is a must!The more detailed the person’s suicide plans, the more quickly you must act. Contact someone who can help and offer to go with the person to that source of help. Do not leave the person alone.

DON’Ts

Do not sidestep the issue – Avoid offering “empty” reassurance, such as “you have it a lot better than most people.” Instead, assure the person that he/she can be helped.

Do not keep what you know a secret – When keeping a secret endangers a life, it is time to break that confidence. Tell someone immediately.

Do not leave the person alone – If you feel there is an immediate danger, do not leave the person alone. Contact someone who can help and wait until that help arrives, or take the person to a hospital emergency room.

Do not feel responsible for saving the person – You can help a person by showing that you care and by helping him/her get professional help. But you cannot control what the person decides to do.

MYTHS ABOUT SUICIDE

Myth:         “A person who threatens suicide will not really follow through.”

Reality:     NOT TRUE. People who commit suicide often talk about ending their lives before they actually do it.

 

Myth:         “Only insane people commit suicide.”

Reality:     People who commit suicide may feel hopeless and depressed, but have not necessarily lost touch with reality. However, it is possible that a mental illness is surfacing.

 

Myth:         “No one I know is the type to commit suicide.”

Reality:     The truth is that suicide occurs among young people of all ages – rich and poor, athletic and non-athletic, popular and unpopular, etc.

 

Myth:         “People who attempt suicide are just trying to get attention.”

Reality:     Possibly, but unless someone gives them some attention, the consequences could be fatal.

 

Myth:         “Talking about suicide might prompt the person to act.”

Reality:     Wrong again. Discussing the subject openly shows that you take the person seriously and that you care. It is helpful – not harmful.

 

Myth:         “Suicide is a problem among old people – not young people.”

Reality:     Suicide is certainly a problem among the elderly. But the suicide rate among 15 to 24 year olds has increased by more than 30% since 1970.

 

Myth:         “Once a person decides to commit suicide, nothing can stop that person.”

Reality:     On the contrary, most people want to and can be stopped from taking their lives. But remember – not everyone can be stopped, though the effort of trying may save a life.

 

Myth:         “People who attempt suicide really want to die.”

Reality:      Do not believe it! A very small number may want to die; the majority desperately want the pain to stop, but have given up hope that they can stop it, or that anyone can help them.